Between A Rock And A Nude Place

“America is a Christian nation, and being nude has often been associated with being lewd,” Pastor Jeff Bowman told me. He wants to change that attitude. That is why, as we stood facing each other, we were both completely naked.

“The point of this spa is to help people relax in the confines of nonsexual nudity. Not that there’s anything wrong with sexual nudity, but not here,” he added. His wife, Judy, similarly non-attired, nodded in agreement.

We looked from their office out over the pools containing mineral water pumped straight from the hot springs underneath the Living Waters Spa in Palm Springs, California. Jeff and Judy, who opened the spa four years ago, were two of the nicest people you would ever meet.

Despite a surreally, oppressively quiet atmosphere, Palm Springs is America’s Nudity Central, with at least five “clothing optional” resorts within spitting distance of each other.

Taking your clothes off sounded simple but – good God – it wasn’t. Standing in the doorway to my chalet, having made it down to my boxer shorts, I had gazed out over the eight or nine unclothed forms draped around the main pool, or quietly chatting in the whirlpool bath, sporting neon drinks with cocktail umbrellas in hand. These people didn’t seem perturbed by their lack of garments; they seemed perfectly at ease with baring all. But then they weren’t British, and we are a reserved people.

After 15 minutes of strategic posture – an arm crooked at the right angle to cover, stance nonchalantly twisted so that nothing was visible – I had walked out naked as the day I was born and slipped into the whirlpool bath, where I could breathe easily in the knowledge that the bubbles would obscure everything. Love those bubbles.

And then, all of a sudden, without preamble, life became quite pleasant. I watched the Santa Rosa mountains glow a deep orange in the afternoon sun, and gazed at the rooftops of the small town that was once a weekend getaway destination for the Hollywood elite – nudism was not without its attractions.

I fell to wondering quite why so many naturist resorts should be clustered around Palm Springs. The answer was eventually supplied by a plastic-holy-­virgin-on-the-dashboard cab driver: with about 20cm of rainfall each year (yes, year), it is America’s sunniest town. If you’re hot, take your clothes off. When you look at it in those terms, you have to admit it makes sense.